Can Edging Help Improve Your Orgasms? Here’s Why The Slow Burn Matters
Rather than speeding down the highway of pleasure and getting off at the closest exit (pun intended), what if you slowed down and took the side roads for your next pleasure sesh to prolong enjoyment and enhance sensation? If that sounds appealing, edging could be your new best friend.
What is edging?
Perfect for solo and partnered play, edging is the act of repeatedly bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm and then stopping or reducing stimulation when you get close to climax. By letting your arousal come down a little and then building it back up again, it prolongs the buildup to orgasm, keeping you in a heightened state of arousal and leading to a more explosive, powerful orgasm when you finally let yourself get there.
While it’s a common pleasure technique that everyone can benefit from, studies show that it’s also a natural behavioral therapy that may address concerns like premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
Todd Baratz, sex therapist at #LUBELIFE, shares, “For many people I see in therapy who struggle with premature ejaculation, we talk about edging or the stop-start technique, which is basically the same idea. But I think it’s more helpful to frame it as learning to recognize and regulate different levels of arousal rather than simply trying to “last longer.” The more familiar you become with how your body moves toward ejaculation, the more opportunity you have to recognize what’s happening before you reach the point where ejaculation becomes inevitable.”
One of the biggest benefits of edging is that it can help people become more aware of their personal arousal patterns and “point of no return”. Many people get lost in the process of sex or race toward orgasm without paying attention to everything happening along the way. Baratz adds, “Edging trains us to notice the individual layers of arousal as they intensify toward orgasm, and what happens as we move closer to and further away from that point of no return. It requires us to be more connected to our bodies and to our actual experience of pleasure.”
Benefits of edging
Does edging make an eventual orgasm feel stronger for everyone? It’s likely, but not guaranteed. Tim Lagman, sex educator at pjur, tells us, “Some people describe orgasms after edging as more intense, longer-lasting, or satisfying because they’ve spent more time building anticipation and arousal. Other people don’t notice much difference. Some prefer orgasms that happen without all the buildup. There’s no universal orgasm upgrade button.”
How to edge (alone and with a partner)
As far as sexual practices go, edging is one of the most approachable things you can try – you can start during masturbation using sex toys or your own hand, as this is a beginner-friendly way to focus entirely on your own body without worrying about a partner’s experience. Masturbate as you normally would, bring yourself close to orgasm, and then take a few breaths, stopping or reducing stimulation. As you do it, pay attention to the rise and fall of your arousal and pleasure rather than only focusing on whether or not you orgasm.
You can also stop much earlier before getting close to the edge and pay attention to how your body reacts before getting to the point of no return.
As far as orgasming with a partner, Baratz says, “If you’re focusing on pleasure, the logistics matter a lot less. The point of edging isn’t to perfectly follow a set of rules; it’s to follow your body. The idea might be to prolong sex or stay in that heightened place of pleasure for longer, but it doesn’t need to become another sexual performance goal. Trying something sexually can just be an experiment: let’s see what happens if we do this. If it feels good, great. If it doesn’t, you learned something about yourselves.”
Lagman adds that treating it like a game can help up the excitement and reduce pressure: “Treat it like a game. Instead of saying, “We’re going to practice edging tonight,” you can frame it as experimenting with anticipation: “I want to slow things down and see how long we can keep the tension going.” You can communicate with your partner how fast or slow you want them to stimulate you, and take breaks that maintain arousal without losing it completely, like kissing, massaging, or dirty talk.”
To indicate to your partner that you’re getting close, you can come up with a word (similar to a safe word), make a “stop” or “time out” gesture with your hands, or tell them that you’re getting close so they know when to ease up.
How to edge with sex toys
Edging enables longer playtime, and bringing in sex toys is a great addition to it. Pick whatever toy you’d like to use, whether it’s a suction stimulator, a vibrator, or a male masturbator. No matter which option you choose, be sure to use lube. Using lube during your edging session can reduce friction and make prolonged stimulation more comfortable, particularly if you’re using a toy or engaging in anal play.
Lube also offers different levels of stimulation that you can play with to have more control. For instance, if you want to spice up regular edging, you can use a warming, tingling, or cooling lube.
Apply the lube to your genitals (always water-based with silicone toys,) and if you haven’t used the toy before, get used to it before you bring in edging. Then, try out different angles, settings, and pressure to see how your body responds. Once you feel confident, you can try edging, bringing yourself to the brink as many times as you want before you’re finally ready to enjoy your orgasm. Don’t push too hard your first few times – limit your session to under half an hour to avoid over-stimulation, slowly increasing time as you get more experience, if desired.
What’s the real value of edging?
Edging isn’t about reaching an end goal of having a “better” orgasm. It’s a tactic that can teach you how to slow down, communicate, and pay closer attention to pleasure, helping you better understand your body and what you like (or don’t like) in the bedroom.
Lagman expands that in a culture that tells us we need immediate gratification in all areas (including sex), a practice like edging can help show you the value in slowness and awareness, noticing your body’s patterns and teaching better communication with both yourself and with partners.
