Through the first three seasons of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules spinoff The Valley, Jasmine Goode has increasingly cemented herself as an integral part of the series which, to hear her talk about it, hasn’t always been an easy road. The 39-year-old has felt both the burden and privilege of representation as being a Black bisexual woman on a mostly-white cast, knowing that she’s helping to push things forward for so many people who look like her.
And, while she wishes she had more people who understand her lived experience on her cast, she’s found sisterhood in the broader Bravoverse, connecting and sharing stories with Southern Charm’s Venita Aspen and Summer House’s Mia Calabrese and Ciara Miller.
Just days after she married Melissa Carelli in their home state of New Jersey, Gibson Johns caught up with Jasmine on behalf of SO.GAY to hear about her fairytale day, being queer on Bravo, taking the good with the bad on reality TV and much more.
SO.GAY: Congratulations on getting married! When we scheduled this, I had no idea how good our timing was.
Jasmine Goode: It’s so crazy! This month is amazing, between Pride Month and getting married, my birthday’s next week. This is the best month ever.
SO.GAY: How are you feeling just a few days after your wedding?
Jasmine: I am still on a high right now. Like, every time I see a video or a picture, I just start tearing up, and it was just such a beautiful day. Everything was perfect. The night before was a little bit of a trainwreck, but everything ended up being perfect. I get emotional when I think about it. It was the best day of my life.
Thank God for my wedding planner, because I had this vision of what it was going to be, and every little detail—from the violin playing the song that I wanted, the cocktail hour, seeing all my high school friends and college people together in one room—I was so overwhelmed with love and just feeling like, “Is this real life? This is my wedding. People are here for me.” It just felt so good.
SO.GAY: It’s also one of those things where we hear a lot in the Bravo world about how nothing brings people together like a breakup or divorce or something bad, but to see how many people on social media this weekend were so celebratory of your wedding and your love, and just loving all the content I think sort of dispels that idea. Like, we can come together for really positive things.
Jasmine: 100%. I was so nervous at first, because I’m like, “Okay, we are in the middle of our season airing, how’s everybody going to be? I was so worried about where people in the cast were sitting, but it was so nice to see that everyone could just come together and put all of their crap aside and just have a good time for me and Melissa.
SO.GAY: There was one video in particular were it was Bachelor Nation versus the Bravo people that I thought was so cute.
Jasmin: I know! I was like, “This is literally my two worlds colliding.” It was epic, and I didn’t know they did that until I saw it posted.
SO.GAY: And people sometimes forget that you were a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, and you and some of your former teammates did the famous dance while you were in your wedding dress.
Jasmine: We weren’t going to do it, because three of my other close DCC girls couldn’t make it, but then they were like, “Let’s just play the song, and we’ll just dance regularly to it.” But then my friend Jessica threw out a hair flip and, once that happened, it was like, “All right—full out, here we go.” That was really special for me, too.
SO.GAY: Was your wedding filmed officially for The Valley?
Jasmine: Everyone’s like, “Why is it not being filmed?” I’m like, “Well, here’s the situation.” When we booked our venue, which was around the reunion of season one. Our filming schedule was at a different time. We were filming in June, so when we booked our venue, it was either June or December, because it’s a popular venue, and I’m like, “I don’t want to get married in December. Sorry, that’s just not me.” So I was like, “June is fine! We’re filming in June, so it works out, and they could showcase it.” But then they switched our filming schedule, and we started filming fall, Halloween, so there’s nothing we can do. We already had our date set in, so it’s okay. It’s a little sad that everyone’s not going to see it, because it was literally the best wedding ever. But, you know, I think it all worked out, though.
SO.GAY: That gets into something I wanted to ask you about, because it’s been so nice seeing your presence grow on The Valley, because the first season, you and Zack were were fan favorites, but you weren’t necessarily getting all the screen time in the world, and I wanted to know what’s it been like being able to share more of your story as the years have gone on.
Jasmine: You know, at first it was a little difficult because, like you said, we weren’t really in this like main role, we were kind of friends of the cast, just there to make little fun comments here and there, and I think over the years it’s growing to where we can show our relationships. Zack is going deep into his stuff with Benji, and me and Melissa are starting to show that, too. So it’s been nice to show that to the world, because I think people can relate to it. I’m getting so many DMs and messages, like, “Oh, my God, thank you for being open about this situation.” I mean, are there any other lesbian couples or gay couples on Bravo?
SO.GAY: There was Julia on Miami, but that’s a different stage of life. Second of all, you two are also a interracial lesbian couple, and you’re definitely the only one on Bravo. Do you feel a burden of representation because of that? Or do you see it as a privilege?
Jasmine: I feel like it’s a privilege. There are moments where I feel like there’s so much pressure and I have to represent for the Black community, represent for the Black gay community, represent for the interracial gay community. So, there’s so much pressure on that, because I want to make sure I’m representing people in the right light. But it does sometimes feel like it’s a lot of weight, like, “Okay, Jasmine, you have to make sure you represent these people and represent them well,” but I also want to stay true to myself.
It definitely has been hard, but at the same time, I think that it’s great that I get the opportunity to do that. It’s a big reason why I love doing this. I know all the drama we get, the trolls, all the hate and stuff like that. But I feel like the good outweighs that. I just love when people reach out to me, and they’re like, “Thank you. You made it easier for me to talk to my parents about coming out,” or, “Just seeing you and your fiancée together made me feel okay that I can date outside of my race and be gay,” and I really never thought that would be a message I would get. So it’s so beautiful when I see that, and I’m like, “Okay, screw all the hate. I’ll take it.” I don’t care, because I’m helping these people, and I love it.
SO.GAY: I also think that that’s what’s great about it—from what we’ve seen from you on The Valley, none of that defines you. It’s not your entire story on the show. Like, you’re involved in all of the minutia and the petty drama and all of that, too, which I think is also an important part of it, too, to have that balance.
Jasmine: I mean, being gay I think is the best thing of all, but that’s not the only thing about me. Like, yes, I’m gay, but I’m also still having the same struggles as Janet and Kristen, we’re all having these same issues and being gay doesn’t change that. I think that’s the beauty of our show is that, yeah, me and Zack are gay, but we’re still in the mix and having the same issues that everybody else has.
SO.GAY: Being on The Valley was also almost like your reintroduction on a big stage, because you were also obviously on The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise years ago, which is where I first encountered you on TV. What was that transition like for you, especially given that you reentered the spotlight obviously dating Melissa after having been part of Bachelor Nation, which is so heteronormative?
Jasmine: It’s definitely true that ABC and Bravo are totally different worlds. There was like a five year break in between, and when me and Melissa started dating, TV wasn’t even on our radar. When we were presented with The Valley, I was like, “This could be fun, because it’s not like The Bachelor. This is a whole new, different platform where it’s about our life,” and I was a little scared, because people know me from the Bachelor world, they know me from that as only dating men—even though I was dating women at the time, and they just didn’t know that—so I was nervous that coming back to TV, it would be like, “Whoa, this girl is doing this just for a storyline and because she wants to be on TV.” And it was like, no, actually, I’ve been gone for six years, but I’ve been dating women this whole time, you guys just didn’t know it.
I was scared about that, because I know how conservative ABC is, but at the same time, I was like, “No, this is my life, this is who I am, and I’m going to show the world.” ABC fans might hate me for that or maybe they won’t want to mess with me anymore. That’s fine, because this is who I am.
SO.GAYY: Did you get any of that negative feedback from Bachelor fans that you were worried about?
Jasmine: I got some people who are in my DMs, like, “You’re just doing this for storyline,” or some people that just didn’t understand. But there were also fans defending me. It’s funny, because I remember for Paradise they asked me who I wanted to date, and I was like, “Well, you know, I’m bisexual—I date both, and they were like, “Would you go on a date with Jamie?” When Jamie was coming in, and I was like, “No, she’s my best friend.” But, see, these are the things that people just didn’t know back then, especially because I don’t think anybody was out on The Bachelor at that time. So, yeah, I got some mixed reviews going into it, but that comes with anything on reality TV.
SO.GAY: Did you see the Summer House scene from this past season that Ciara, Mia and KJ led about being Black on reality TV and interracial dating? If so, what how did it resonate with you?
Jasmine: I love every conversation they had as a group, because it was so powerful, just to see these beautiful people come together and talk about their experiences. Sometimes I wish I had that on my show. Like, I can understand so much of their experience, so seeing them talk about it just made me feel seen a little bit, like, “Thank you.” I tweeted something like, “Thank you, finally people are talking about this,” because it’s so hard, especially like I said, I don’t have anybody in my cast besides me and Jason (and Janet) to talk about our experiences like that, but Jason’s not a woman, so it’s kind of hard to have those conversations with them sometimes.
SO.GAY: I saw that you attended Mia’s Summer House watch party, which Venita from Southern Charm was also at. I loved seeing you all together!
Jasmine: We have something really fun coming out. I can’t talk about it yet, but it’s coming out in September. Anyway, Mia was like, “Hey, come over, we’re doing a little watch party,” and I was so tired, but I went to go support them and Venita was there—I love her, she’s so sweet—and I was hearing all the tea from Mia about what’s going down. I was like, “Oh, this is juicy,” but she’s actually the sweetest person. Like, I’m so happy that Ciara has her and that she’s on her show. And then me and Venita, we’ve been connecting about our experiences, and she’s in the South, so it’s different for her. Like, I cannot imagine, but it was just so nice to feel a cute little sisterhood with them. We were making a joke about how we’re gonna have a spinoff podcast with a lot of the Black girls.
SO.GAY Remind me, how did you and Melissa first meet?
Jasmine: We’re from the same town, Maplewood, New Jersey. She graduated with my brother, and her best friend is my best friend’s sister, so I didn’t really know her because she was younger, but I knew who she was in passing. But, we officially met like six years ago at a bar, and then we kind of just kept in contact because she was in a relationship and then the pandemic happened. She was like, “I’m coming out to LA.” We were just flirting through DMs, and she’s like, “Can I take you on a date?” I’m like, “Sure.” So we went to Élephante in Santa Monica, and then never left each other’s side—literally. I always knew she was going to be in my life. I was always saying that—and I put this in my vows—that I knew she was always gonna be a part of my life. I just didn’t know how and when it was gonna happen.
SO.GAY: So then you get this opportunity to do The Valley, and she’s your partner at that point. What are those conversations like? Because there’s a whole other conversation about how reality TV can impact relationships, but, I’m guessing that you guys knew that and had discussed that going into this.
Jasmine: Well, Melissa never watched The Bachelor. She’s not really into reality.
SO.GAY: That feels like a green flag.
Jasmine: I know. I was like, “Yay, she’s not gonna see me crash out!” But I was like, “Look, this isn’t like The Bachelor. It’s a different type of thing where it’s following your life every day, and she has a full-time job working in corporate, and she’s like, “I don’t know, how is it going to work for me?” And I was like, “Honestly, I think you’ll just be my support. I think we’ll be okay, but we do have to be open and honest and talk about our relationships.” And she was like, “Maybe it’d be fun,” also because she loved all my friends.
But I think it hit her after filming season one, she didn’t realize what the response and intensity of the fans would be. She was like, “Whoa, it’s fun filming when you’re with your friends and doing all these things,” but then somebody commented something mean and I’m like, “That’s just how it happens.” I had to teach her that this is what just comes with it. Everybody has an opinion—and everyone has a right to their opinion—because we are putting our lives out there. So I really had to have those conversations with her, and it was really hard in the beginning. She was like, “This is not okay, I don’t know if I want to do this,” but I think now she’s starting to get into a rhythm with it. And I said to her, “I got you. We just have to support each other and just be open and real, because that’s what we’re signing up for, but at the same time make sure that we have each other’s backs.”
SO.GAY: A lot has happened in the first three seasons of The Valley, and most of your castmates had either already gotten married, had kids and some of their relationships have also not worked out. How does seeing them go through so many of those experiences prepare you for your own journey into marriage and potentially motherhood?
Jasmine: It’s crazy, because I think the first season was like, I was like, “Wow, we have so many amazing couples, everyone’s in these great relationships,” and then after the past two years I’m like, “Guys, I think I might be the healthiest relationship here. What is happening?” Like, anytime I get asked whose relationship I look up to, I’m like, “I’m sorry, I love you guys, but I cannot,” because everyone’s getting divorced and having all these issues.
I want to have kids and have a family, but they scare me because they’re always talking about how many kids they have and saying they can’t do something because because they have a kid. I’m like, “I understand kids are hard, but y’all make it seem so miserable that I don’t know if I can do it.” I also don’t take advice from many of my cast members relationship-wise, and you can see why.
SO.GAY: There has been this recent influx of Bachelor Nation personalities to Bravo—we obviously have you on The Valley, Salley on Southern Charm, Whitney on In The City, Ashley on The Real Housewives of Rhode Island. What do you make of that as the first one to kickstart that pipeline?
Jasmine: I think it’s pretty cool that people are crossing over. I was the first, and I knew there’d be more people eventually coming on over, but it’s kind of cool because The Bachelor is a competition show—you’re just competing to find love. This is totally different, so it’s interesting to see the people who are coming over now, but I love it. I’m like, “Come on in! Join the family.”
