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40 of the best, cheesiest, and dirtiest pickup lines

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Want to spice up your texting (read: sexting) game and add a dash of cheeky charm to your dating app or text conversations? Well, look no further because we’ve got the ultimate arsenal of flirty and dirty pickup lines curated just for him. In the world of gay banter, communication is an art form, and what better way to express your interest than with a playful twist that says, I’m funny and horny? (Amazing combo.)

So whether you’re a seasoned flirt or just dipping your toe into the world of sexy pickup lines, these gems are designed for guys over text who appreciate wit, humor, and lust. From the best dirty pickup lines that will leave you and your recipient blushing, to clever wordplay that defines the art of squirrelly seduction, this list of pickup lines is bound to make your heart race, your palms sweat, and give you a warm and fuzzy feeling…well, down there. So grab your phone, muster up some courage, and get ready to unleash the charm with these pickup lines that dance between playful and downright provocative. And hey, even if you’re doing this to broaden your vocabulary, who said a little flirty wordplay can’t lead to some sexy swordplay? From the tame to the totally tantalizing, get ready to elevate your text game to a whole new level with our roundup of the 40 best flirty and dirty pickup lines the internet has to offer. 

  1. “How’s it hanging?” (Simple yet effective!)
  2. If he comments on the weather being cold, try: “My mouth is pretty warm, wanna come inside?”
  3. “I’m like a snowstorm: I’ll give you 8-10 inches and we won’t leave the house for days.”
  4. “Excuse me but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”
  5. “I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.”
  6. “You have 206 bones in your body, wanna make it 207?”
  7. For the BDSM lover: “Wow you have great hands, bet they would make me a great collar.”
  8. “Do men think with their dick? Would you like to blow my mind?”
  9. “Your face is a work of art. We should frame it…with my legs.”
  10. “If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.” (Hey, it shows you care about their mental health!)
  11. “I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.”
  12. “Let’s play Titanic. You be the iceberg and I’ll go down.” (Too far?)
  13. “That shirt is very becoming on you. But, if I were on you, I’d be coming too.”
  14. “You from Georgia? Because those peaches look delicious!”
  15. “If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.”
  16. “Nice ass, what time does it open?”
  17. “When I’m around you, I can’t think straight.”
  18. “As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit.”
  19. “Do you really think you’re straight? Because so does spaghetti until it’s wet.”
  20. “I’m an interior decorator. Can I fill your interior?”
  21. “Looks like you could use some flame in your life.”
  22. “Do you like dragons? Because I’ll be ‘dragon’ my balls across your face tonight.”
  23. “Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?”
  24. “I bet your license got suspended for driving these guys crazy.”
  25. “Are you Medusa? Because you make me rock hard.”
  26. “I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?” (Whoever said birders don’t have game was WRONG.)
  27. “You know what would look great on you? Me.”
  28. “I lost my underwear today. Can I see yours?”
  29. “If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.”
  30. “I love your outfit in your profile pic, but I think it would look even better in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.”
  31. “You’re like a beautiful painting: I’d love to have you pinned against my wall.”
  32. “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?”
  33. “If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?”
  34. “Is your name Justin? Because I want to be Just In you.”
  35. “Are you a gamer? Can I ride your joystick?”
  36. For the bi guys: “I’m bisexual. I’d like to BUY you a drink, and then get sexual.”
  37. “I don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.”
  38. “I’ve got an oral exam later, can I practice with you?”
  39. “Why don’t you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.”
  40. “Do you like your donuts glazed or cream-filled?”

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