Tommy Bracco has a lot on his plate, and not just the creative cuisines he’s cooking up in the kitchen. Besides sharing his newfound chef status on social media, the newlywed is prepping to begin making dinner reservations for three. Surrogacy is on the menu, and this growing family couldn’t be more ready to order!
Bombastic, unapologetically loud, and proud: that’s how Bracco lives his best life. The former reality TV star, known for his iconic stint on “Big Brother,” brought his radiant personality into living rooms across the country. Since then, he’s transformed his television fame into an impressive career filled with hard work, charisma, and Broadway-level talent.
We spoke with Bracco about finding “the One,” experience that comes with having a child as a gay couple, and how this cook-in-training makes magic in more than just the kitchen.
So.Gay: We’ve got to say congratulations on your nuptials!
Tommy Bracco: Oh, thank you so much. We’re very happy. It’s been about a year now. It flies by. People say it doesn’t feel that different when you get married. But to me, it actually does feel different because before you’re married, you’re talking about all the plans that you wanna make, all the things that you wanna do, all the dreams you have. But once you get married, it’s time to actually start doing those things and making those dreams come true. So it does feel different. It feels like we’re really building a life together now, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I’m very, very lucky, very happy.
So.Gay: You and Joey seem like a perfect match. Of all your past roles, from “Big Brother” contestant to Broadway performer, how has this new cooking era been?
Tommy Bracco: Joey and I are both Italian from New York City; he’s from the Bronx, I’m from Staten Island. We come from similar backgrounds, and both of our parents, our moms specifically, are really great cooks. So we’ve been around Italian food, the same meals, our whole lives. It’s just something that bonds us together. As our parents get older and as we get married and step into this new role of leading a household, we want to step up to the plate. So we have learned to take on cooking more, and we’re having a lot of fun. We’re getting really good at it. I think it’s in our blood. There are a lot of sides to me, but I think everybody has that. It just so happens that I put mine on display for my job. There’s Broadway, there’s reality TV, there’s family, and cooking now too. I really do love it. I like to keep it fresh.
So.Gay: You can also pass the recipes to your children someday. I hear that may be sooner than later?
Tommy Bracco: Yeah, we’re working on it. We’re in the very beginning stages, going down the route of surrogacy. It just makes sense. We both come from these big Italian families, so we share a dream of having that ourselves, as well.
So.Gay: What are those conversations about surrogacy like? Maybe you have advice for other couples looking to go this route.
Tommy Bracco: Well, unfortunately, there’s the money of it all, and that’s like the big question. It costs a lot of money to have a baby through surrogacy for gay couples. We were given a quote, because they never give you an exact number; they give you ranges. We were quoted between $170,000 to $310,000 for one baby. It feels impossible, but we are going to claw our way to the top to make sure that it happens. It’s daunting and overwhelming because so much of the conversation is financial at this stage. But then when I spend the day with our nieces and our nephews, I just know it’ll be worth it.
So.Gay: Thank you for being so open about your experience. Do you have thoughts on that type of pricing?
Tommy Bracco: They take advantage, I think, but we’re lucky that we’ve connected with a bunch of great people in the field, in the industry, in the surrogate orbit. They’ve been taking us under their wing. It’s the people of Families Out Loud, which is how I got introduced to Alex and Ethan with So.Gay.
So.Gay: Why is cooking such a great way to bond with a partner?
Tommy Bracco: Cooking is universal. Everybody cooks or everybody eats food, and there’s so much love that goes into preparing a meal. But I think, honestly, in a world that’s so divided, we should celebrate how food is one of the only things that connects everybody. Food, cooking, and preparing a meal. You can taste the difference in a meal when it’s prepared with love versus when it’s at a restaurant that’s throwing out those dishes just to make money. You taste the difference when something is prepared with love. We take pride in it. It’s become a hobby, I guess you would say, but it feels deeper than that. It feels like it’s in our blood because it’s something that connects Joey and me from when we were kids. Joey and I come from the Bronx and Staten Island. Yes, we’re both from New York City, but some would even consider that a long-distance relationship, especially for families who don’t like to drive. It’s literally like an hour and a half away from each other. Yet, there’s this one thing that really connected the two of us from when we were kids: the way that our families cook. Yesterday, his whole family came from the Bronx to Staten Island. We rarely get them here. They have two young kids. It’s a lot to pack the car for the whole day and take the trip. But we got them here yesterday, and of course, my mother prepared an entire meal and an entire spread. Then we were cooking as well, and we went out to eat. The whole day revolved around food.
So.Gay: How do you balance family time, 8 shows a week sometimes, this new cooking routine, and everything?
Tommy Bracco: It comes in waves. There are almost seasons of my life. I’ll be in a show for six months, and that will be my focus. It will take a lot of my time. We will make sure to prioritize date nights when I have off. You have to be very conscious of it. You can almost get lost in the monotony of it all. But because my schedule is all over the place, we’re constantly having to be on our toes. If we haven’t spent the last three days together, we’re gonna make sure to go out on a date night on the fourth day. We are constantly mindful of our schedule and time together in a way that most couples, who live a very consistent lifestyle, don’t do.
So.Gay: How did you know he was “the One?”
Tommy Bracco: Alright, so this is literally not an exaggeration, I’m not kidding. I sat down at our first date, we met on Hinge, and I knew that I would marry him. I really did. I just really felt it. We met on a dating app, but there was an element of fate to it, too. So we matched in June of 2020. I didn’t know this at the time, but he was still not out to his family. For me, a deal breaker was that I didn’t wanna date somebody who was still in the closet or who would come out for me cause I didn’t want that pressure. So we matched and in June, we talked briefly, but it faded away, and we just let it go.
Then in August, he came out to his family, all on his own, on the second week of August. I reached back out to him, and I said, ” Hey, I know it’s been a couple of months since we last spoke, but are you still on this app? If you’re interested, I would like to try to pick things up.”
If we had continued talking in June when we originally matched, I would have written him off because he wasn’t out. But he came out to his family on his own. So the next week I reached out to him. I just think the timing was really crazy, and the fact is that I truly would have written him off if we had continued to talk when we matched.
He comes out to his family and then three weeks later, he’s bringing home his boyfriend, who then turned into his husband. It was very fast for his family, but it works for us. His family, they’re amazing. I love them truly like my own family, and they are my family now. It’s great. We’re very lucky.
So.Gay: We see it in your Insta posts and even know you’re really in love.
Tommy Bracco: We are so in love, but trust me, it is not all sunshine and rainbows. We’re Italian. We have tempers, we fight, and it’s honestly okay because it’s just our style of communication. We speak very directly and to the point. There are no secrets, and we deal with things, like when something comes up, we talk it out, we yell it out, do what we gotta do, and then we move on. He is perfect for me, he really is.
So.Gay: I hope you have the perfect Pride Month coming up. It’ll be like six years since you met your husband, that’s crazy.
Tommy Bracco: Yep! And we can’t wait to celebrate at the So.Gay event on June 3rd.
