In a shocking twist of events that surprised no one but an idiot, there are gay people inside New York’s House of Yes. A person we can only imagine has never previously stepped foot in the neighborhood of Bushwick, an artistic haven filled with queerness, decided to party it up at one of the most famous nightclubs there during the weekend.
They were not pleased once they stepped through the venue’s doors and left a scathing one-star review.
It’s unclear how long this person spent inside, but what they saw was ungodly. Unsightly. Heinous!
Actually, it sounds kinda fun.
“Worst place to be crowd is gay all of them i was the only straight person out there they all were misbehaving… had the worst night of my life,” the review says.
House of Yes knows its audience and quickly turned this review into the greatest Instagram-promoted advertisement ever.
For any virgin to the Brooklyn multi-room club, it prides itself on being an immersive and funky event space with all the dance parties. It literally has branded itself as a “temple of expression,” which is basically a fancy way to say weird gay things go on here.
And they do. Enter this review. So much is said within just a couple of sentences.
First, it’s the claim that all of the patrons inside were gay. Now, that’s a miracle for the House of Yes! We know where the gays go, their girlfriends go with them. I’ve yet to step foot inside the club at a time when it was exclusively gay men. We’d love to know more about this particular night!
Now, this is what turned us on: the use of the word “misbehaving.”
Whoever wrote this review needs to be interviewed by Diane Sawyer and describe this with no detail spared.
Some critical questions Sawyer must demand answered:
Whose hands and tongues were where?
Is there a secret dark room at the House of Yes?
Was Troye Sivan inside on Grindr? Was this the real reason he decided to play Madison Square Garden?
Where Sawyer must be relentless is the reviewer specifying the “worst night” of their life. We’re not licensed detectives, but if we hated a club, we’d leave to the next. New York is filled with them. Hell, most New Yorkers are bar hopping even if they like where they are at.
But not this person. They had a “night,” which means they stayed. No judgment, bro, but it sounds like you were actually the victim of the most fun night ever.
Now for the ominous ending: They visited on the weekend and confirmed the God-forsaken wait time was… 10 minutes.
Seriously, if House of Yes keeps getting negative reviews like this, they might be forced to open up a second location.
