Dating is hard and when you’re gay it becomes mission impossible. Going through the effort to meet people naturally can be draining (and not in a good way). Many of us live outside of major cities, far from gay bars and clubs, relying on 21st-century Cupid to find connections – the apps. Specifically, Hinge and Grindr satisfy very different sides of the gay dating spectrum. The former leans more romantic and long-term, while the latter is more driven by lustful quickies. Would the paid versions, with upgraded features and a supposedly kinder algorithm, make a difference in my dating journey?
I gotta be honest, my free-to-make profiles on dating apps get less attention than a TV in Amish Country. It’s a desert. On Mars. I do everything friends suggest – change my profile picture often, turn up my unique brand of quirky charm in the bio sections, and yet… tumbleweeds, cobwebs, and discouragement.
Unhappy with my severe lack of matches and limited search radius, I whipped out my credit card. I purchased a one month membership to Hinge+ and Grindr Xtra. I chose to invest in my love life, metaphorically and monetarily, to evolve my stalled dating journey. I will be the brave soul to upgrade and report back. For science, of course!
Grinding Through Grindr Xtra
If you or a loved one has ever downloaded Grindr, you should be eligible for financial compensation. The worldwide app designed to connect gays faster than ever has empowered our community in so many ways – mostly to radioactive levels of horniness. Sure, people use the app to make friends and recruit for their gay kickball leagues or whatever, but we all kinda know what we’re on there for.
Grindr is for hookup culture. From faceless profiles that demand discretion to open guys just honest about wanting a quicky, all types of folks are ready for fun. But finding a monogamous boyfriend on the sexually charged app wasn’t going to be easy. A common complaint about the free version is the minimal number of profiles you’re able to view, only about 50 in your immediate area. But using the advanced settings of Grindr Xtra, I finally was able to expand my list of potential suitors past my barren suburbs. And the lack of annoying ads made my experience way smoother.
The upgrade to Grindr Xtra won my heart when it gave me the power to be super selective. As someone who’s admittedly selective, it’s nice not wasting my time scrolling through faceless profiles (which you can hide in the premium settings). Other features include the option to filter by height, weight, preferred position, body type, relationship status, if they’re down to accept NSFW pictures, and what they’re looking for. This tier of the app can be applauded to help you seek exactly who you want. Though you’re more likely to get a Rose Toy than a bouquet of roses on a Grindr meetup, the perks of accessible connection cannot be understated. These advantages were even easier to access thanks to the paid upgrade.
Weighing the Negatives of Hinge+
Hinge has the advantage when it comes to forming emotional relationships. People hype up the app like it’s the matchmaking woman from Mulan. High match rates and a 14% increase in annual users make the app ‘designed to be deleted’ still on everyone’s phone (MatchGroup). Compared to old-school Tinder, which has seen an 11% drop in 2024, people are primarily looking for love on Hinge. Stats aside, I know happy couples who first met on the app and are in strong, confident relationships. Whereas Grindr caters to the short-term, Hinge is synonymous with monogamy.
Hinge is also more reliant on patience. Texts get responded to, sure, but conversations are had like we’re sending mail in olden times. Cue the carrier pigeons. Days between replies, like they’re lost on the virtual Oregon Trail, drain excitement. The delay (which other friends have also expressed) is not ameliorated by the paid upgrade. More matches came my way, but without meaningful conversations there was hardly anything to pursue. It’s tough for connections to form when you have to check on your matches like a daily work inbox. It begins to feel homework-y. Though the benefit here is this forces folks to either connect hard or never commit before anything begins. Which is useful when time is of the essence.
Hinge goes so far in the romantic direction and Grindr so fully the opposite way. The updated features on both apps delivered more options and potential matches, but not much changed in terms of results. Sadly nothing really came to fruity fruition, I’m still single. But from what I’ve experienced, I’ll continue paying for Grindr Xtra. And I’m not alone – Grindr’s stock price has jumped 120% in the last year (Quartz). It’s clear gays are investing in more than just the free version. I’ll keep casting a wider net, find the few romantic needles in the horny haystack of Grindr, and invite you to the impending engagement party.
Or I’ll just go on Sniffies.
