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Lube, so confusing: A beginner’s guide to lubricants

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There are countless different types of personal lubricants on the market and the large variety can cause confusion when determining which is best for you and for your situation. Lucky for you, we’ve created a guide to use the perfect lube no matter how you like to play. 

What is lube and why should you use it?

Lube is a substance intended to prevent unwanted friction during sex. For gay men, lube isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. The FDA considers personal lubricants as medical devices and for good reason too. When having anal sex, the anus doesn’t naturally produce lubricant leaving your hole at risk for tearing and risk of contracting an STI. 

So, what should you look for when purchasing lube? While there are many lubricant options none of your lube should contain propylene glycol, glycerin, parabens, alcohol, fragrance, or dyes as these can be harmful for your sexual parts. 

Besides that, the main factor depends on what kind of sex you’re in the mood to have. 

Natural lubes

Natural lubricant is produced naturally, so you’ll never run out of them. For men this can be saliva or pre-cum from the tip of the penis. Natural lubricant could be used for solo-sex like masturbation or mutual masturbation with a partner. 

Unfortunately, natural lubes tend to dry up quickly.

Water-based lubes

Water-based lubes are a step up from natural lube. They last longer than saliva and are great if you’re concerned about ingredients as water is typically the main ingredient. Plus, you can pair it with latex condoms or use it with your favorite sex toy. 

However, the water molecules in water-based lubes are small enough to quickly be absorbed through the skin leaving a sticky sensation. When using water-based lube you may have to reapply lube.

Silicone lubes

These are probably a gay man’s best friend considering how pleasurable silicone is for many people. This has to do with how silicone molecules are bigger than skin can absorb, so they sit on top of the skin providing a very slippery feeling that can feel great during anal sex. They also are safe for latex condoms and are great for shower sex if you’re up for it. 

Silicone lube is great for partnered play, but it’s not recommended to use with silicone sex toys. If you don’t know what kind of material your sex toy is, try spot testing before use to be sure it’s compatible. The last thing you want is for your sex toy to start breaking down in the middle of a session. 

Silicone lube can stain sheets, so just be sure to lay down a towel or cloth to avoid any unwanted stains.

Oil-based lubes

Oil-based lubes, such as baby oil or coconut oil, are long-lasting and very slippery. If giving a blowjob, hand job, eating ass, or even fisting is your preferred method to have sex this might be your new favorite lube. 

Oil is not safe for condoms; they eat away at latex condoms and are likely to cause yeast infections for people with a vagina. 

Be aware of the risks of oil-based lube, but if you want to help mitigate the risk even further, try to only use oil-based lube externally and avoid internal use.

Flavored lubes

Flavored lubes are great for people who want to have oral sex but might be looking to spice things up in the bedroom. They’re designed to taste good but also allow for penetration afterwards if needed.

Flavored lubes are also for individuals who might be concerned about the taste of sex but instead of choosing to feel self-conscious can mitigate this feeling by adding flavored lube to mask their natural taste.

Be aware of the flavored lubes you’re buying, ensuring they don’t have sugar which can be harmful when used internally. 

Key takeaways about lube

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all for lubes. It all depends on your personal comfort with lubes, the way(s) you like to get down, and the needs of your partner(s). Pleasure is subjective so have fun with it!

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