In an exclusive new interview and photoshoot with So.Gay, influencer Jeff Perla shares how he started over after losing his first content business, The Travelin Bum, and creating something even bigger: himself, one of the Internet’s biggest gay brands
In a world in which seemingly everyone is an alleged influencer seeking a quick and easy route to virality, Jeff Perla, the host of Snapchat’s “Oh Dear, I’m Queer” knows that it takes more than that to sustain a long-term career in front of the camera.
While he’s currently winning hearts and garnering laughs by asking men on the street what kind of underwear they’re wearing or how gay they are on a scale from 1-10—videos which, let’s be clear, are equally hilarious as they are enlightening—Jeff has a vision of himself moving beyond his signature, cheeky content when it stops being cute.
But, for now, he says, he’s following his gut, which has him exploring men’s relationships with their sexuality and the comfortability in sharing that with the internet. And part of what distinguishes Jeff from the other men on the street you see on your For You Page? His ability to make his subjects feel relaxed and to create a human-to-human (and oftentimes gay-to-gay) connection quickly, while also being careful not to come off as bait-y.
In conversation with SO.GAY, Jeff reflects on his career trajectory so far, his future aspirations, coming out publicly, his parents’ thoughts on his content, and much more.
SO.GAY: When somebody asks you what you do, how do you describe it?
Jeff Perla: In a joking way, I just say that I’d do anything for $1 because I’m, like, if you tempt me hard enough, I’ll figure it out. Like, I’m not the one who’s gonna say no to something that I think is good for my career.
SO.GAY: What are your career aspirations? Do you have an end-vision of what you want what you’re doing now to turn into?
Jeff: Well, my first goal is that I want to have four houses before I’m 40. I don’t want to be one of those people that is, like, 50 years old running down the street asking people what underwear they’re wearing because I need to pay my rent. You know what I mean? So I’m trying to position myself in a way that whatever comes down the line, I’m welcoming it with open arms. Like, maybe it’s that I host a reality TV show or a talk show or just get more hosting gigs in general. I think hosting gigs is the big picture goal, that someone can see behind the sexual aspect of my videos and say, “Oh, he’s personable and can use a microphone well.” But I also don’t want to be one of those people that doesn’t set themselves up to function and live in the long term.
SO.GAY: Yeah, totally, though I do love the cheeky nature of what you do. You definitely want to move beyond that?
Jeff: I love it for now, but I’m gonna be 33, so at what point are you like, “This isn’t cute anymore, asking an 18 year old when the last time they had sex is,” you know what I mean? So I just don’t ever want to come across as, like, “You did your time.” I’m enjoying it, and I don’t think it comes across any type of way now.
SO.GAY: For sure, but for right now you have the Snapchat show, “Oh Dear, I’m Queer,” which I love. What’s the pitch for that show? What’s in the DNA of the show, maybe for someone who hasn’t watched it before?
Jeff: I would say, “Oh Dear, I’m Queer” is a place where Jeff explores men in the street. Because I also go towards straight men and ask them, like, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how gay are you?” So I would say it’s pretty male-focused and just exploring the culture of being a man and their sexuality with fun skits. I think a lot of times I look at, let’s say another gay creator (and I’m not diminishing anyone’s work, but people would loop us all together), and I feel like it’s so basic. When someone goes, “Are you a top or a bottom?” And they just run up to people in the street, I’m like, “There’s no fun in that, and it gives you nothing.”
SO.GAY: A lot of that content is also very tease-y, but yours isn’t. It’s fun and flirty and cheeky, but it’s not promising something that you’re not delivering. Which of your segments is the highest performing or most popular?
Jeff: I would say at the moment, it’s probably either the underwear videos or the ones where they rate each other’s thirst trap videos.
Everybody obviously has underwear, so I think those are universally engaging. Also, like, if a guy’s cute, they want to see his underwear. And I would say, I don’t even know how many messages I get when someone’s like, “Where’d you get your underwear? I want to buy it!” Because I think a lot of people don’t know where to get underwear aside from, like, a three-pack for Marshall’s. There’s a lot of guys who don’t have good underwear game.
SO.GAY: Something that I also really appreciate about what you put out there is that some of the topics that you’re exploring in your show and in your content are fairly common topics for people to talk about privately in the gay community, but you don’t see as much content publicly talking about them. And I also feel like you’re presenting them in an unapologetic way that’s also digestible for a non-gay audience, as well. Like, it might make them blush, but you still present these ideas in a way where they can be part of the fun without losing your cheeky personality.
Jeff: Thank you. I also found that straight guys are actually more playful, because they don’t have that same subconscious we have as gay people. As a gay person, you get so self-conscious about, like, “Oh, I don’t have a good body. I don’t want to show this.” Or, like, “I know a whole bunch of my friends follow you, so I don’t want to be on this page because I’m going to get made fun of or eaten alive,” or whatever it is.
As gay people, you have those perceptions in your brain that make you want to or not want to do the video, whereas a straight guy finds it hysterical. They could have a dad bod, and they don’t give a fuck. They have, like, boxers on and with a hole by their ass. They have no shame in it. They almost make for better videos, because they’re just more down to earth and not trying to be something like everyone else is.
SO.GAY: I could say the same for how you are in a lot of your content! You’re very unapologetic and are just being yourself, and I feel like that’s pretty contagious to watch. Have you always been that way? Or what did it take for you to get that place, where you’re so comfortable being on camera in this way?
Jeff: Well, I came out on my old Instagram page The Travelin Bum, and I started getting a whole bunch of gay people messaging me about them trying to come out and who they told first. Then I started getting invites to gay prides and that was my first time really experiencing gay culture. So I did that from, like, 2016 up until 2022, and then it got deleted by Instagram, I turned 30, and I was building a house, so I had a whole mental breakdown. I either needed to get a job or reinvent myself. I started going on Indeed, just clicking apply, apply, apply, because I was freaking out about money and stuff, because I was building a house and I didn’t know what to do.
Everyone was like, “Why don’t you just restart The Travelin Bum and start back at zero?” But it just was shitty to have something that was at, like, 150,000 followers and now you’re at zero doing it for free, essentially. It was just a shitty ass feeling, and during that time, everything was going towards video. So I was like, “How can I involve myself in gay culture, but pivot towards a video format?” So then I started thinking of the skits and shit I could do. That’s how it all kind of fell into place.
SO.GAY: So then how and why did you take “Oh Dear, I’m Queer” over to Snapchat? Obviously, it’s an incredibly active platform with Gen Z, but there are a ton of Millennials who have written it off. What’s so good about that community that you feel like works for your show?
Jeff: Well, first off, Snapchat actually pays. I get good money from Snapchat just via ad sales. So, that was reason number one for the pivot. And then, also, Snapchat reached out to me to host a show. I also wasn’t someone who actively used Snapchat, but I was like, “Okay, you know what? This will be a cool opportunity, whatever it turns into.” Because even for me, from my TikTok to my Instagram, I notice it’s a completely different demo of people, and Snapchat has given me a completely new demo of people, down to the point where I get messages, and they will call me Uncle Jeff. So, like, some of my viewers are, like, 17 years old watching it, and I’m double their age, but someone told me, “I grew up watching you.” And I was like, “Wait, that’s weird,” because you don’t think of it that way, but it’s like, I might be the first gay person they saw on the internet.
SO.GAY: Something that holds a lot of creators or aspiring creators back is getting over the hurdle of second-guessing what people in their life — family, parents, friends from high school — will think about what they post online. How did you get over that hurdle?
Jeff: Well, my siblings have always been like my best friends. That was pretty easy, but then my parents are actually pretty religious. Like, my dad’s on the board of Catholic charities in Syracuse, and my mom’s a first grade Catholic school teacher. So it’s pretty much shoved down our throats. As kids growing up, it was like, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,” and now it gotten to a point where we broke the wall down with hammers and they just got eaten alive.
Even watching how much my family has opened up because of just even me being gay or what I do on social media, it’s been cool to watch how having a gay son breaks down a lot of barriers within even just a dinner conversation between your family. We’re just a very open book now.
SO.GAY: You’re about to go on this big, month-long trip throughout Europe, where presumably you’ll be getting a lot of people to participate in your videos. How do you get people to agree to be featured? How do you get them to be so comfortable with you to the point where they’re showing you their underwear or sharing a thirst trap with you?
Jeff: I think my approach isn’t salesy. I’m not someone who just bum rushes you in the street at night when you’re fucked up. I try to just come across normal. I’m like, “Hey, do you want to be in a video?” And then they’re like, “Oh, I’ve seen your stuff.” Or, “Oh, sure, what is it?” And then when they just naturally do it, you almost forget that there’s even a camera, because it’s just naturally funny and sexual. You know, if a guy came up to you and said, “What underwear are you wearing?” and you found him attractive or you have a vibe, it’s gonna flow naturally. You don’t have to try.
SO.GAY: You’ve been very successful in this space, and a lot of people kind of aspire to have similar success in the content space. Obviously, a few years ago you were forced to do a major reset, so what has been something that has been really crucial for you to keep in mind or a key to your success over the past few years that you would share with others?
Jeff: I have content friends who help me also to be creative. I’ll film videos for them, they’ll film videos for me, and it’s almost like having a co-worker to keep up to date, We’ll be like, “Oh, have you seen this?” Or, “Oh, we should try this.” So I think surrounding yourself around people who do something similar to you or what you’re trying to do, because no person can grow on their own, so you kind of all need to grow together.
I hate the people who are on social media who think that we’re in competition with each other. There’s no competition, and there’s enough space for people like you to thrive and me to thrive. It’s not like it’s one or the other, so I try to surround myself with people who think similar to me in that regard, and then also have, you know, friends who I’ve had for the past 15 years who kind of keep you humble in some aspects, so you don’t fly away at the same time. It can be very consuming when it’s just like, gay, gay, gay, video, video, video.
Follow Jeff on Instagram @JeffPerlaa
